Marylebonetheatre

There's a small cafe attached to the foyer of this theatre - and having spent time setting up cameras as a helper to my partner, both giving up our time (pro bono) to record the theatre event - she decided to 'reward' me with a cup of tea.

If you are a real tea drinker - and a loose-tea afficiaonado at that - plonking a tea bag in semi-hot water hardly does it.

They charge £2.50 for this service. However if you ask for a 'strong tea' and suggest another tea bag - it's "I'll have to charge you another £2.50 for that" - and before the you can overcome the rush of indignation - and concomitant involuntary inhalation of incapacitating air compression filling your lungs - he's hit the till buttons and it's £5! Unbelievable.

And to boot - the tea had a funny taste - really odd. I concluded that due to being served in a paper cup, it - the paper cup - must have been the source of the contamination. The second conclusion I came to was that this was the worst cup of tea I've ever experienced In My Life. Absolutely True. The worst - glue 'an all.

George Orwell - aka Arthur Blair - wrote one of the most influential statements of the British 'way of tea' in his Evening Standard essay of 1946 - 'A Nice Cup of Tea' - an 11 point 'instruction'.

He would be turning in his grave at what's happened to the 'National Drink' and would blench at £2.50 a small paper cup's worth let alone £5.

Whilst it's not expected that the 'server' of this beverage would know - but my 'treat' was paid for by an amateur-photographer registered nurse on a Band 5 nurse's salary (£27K per annum).

However this is unforgivable profiteering on the heels of the cost-of-living crisis.

I have worked out that the energy to boil eight fluid ounces of water at.011p (45 seconds in a 2.8kw kettle (or urn) at 29p per kwh); plus the cost of a Twining's Breakfast tea bag of 6p (retail (not wholesale) of £6 per 100 at Asda) plus the contaminating hot-drink-paper cup at 7p (Nisbets the catering wholesaler at £70.99 per 1000 cups - including lids which weren't offered at the theatre!) Plus 3p for 1.5 fluid ounces of milk (72.6p per 35 fluid ounces at Lidl) - A total of 16.011p - or just 16p for the whole shebang.

This represents (understates) a mark-up on the actual wholesale costs of 1,056% at £2:50 per cup of tea and 2,112% (less the percentage cost of an extra 6p tea bag!) at £5 per cup.

Of course 'mark-up' doesn't equate to profit - but margins are roughly even across an establishment's product range. 2,112% mark up gives a great profit margin - nice if you can get it. A theatre must make a commercial profit to be able to survive. But at this rate? And on an almost 'captive audience' - being once considered the National Drink?

Over many many years of asking for 'strong tea', very few establishments have even asked extra for the extra tea-bag let alone doubling the price of a cup for the second tea bag. They just chuck it in - "You're welcome Sir!". Just the extra cost of another tea-bag would have been almost reasonable - 6p for another Twining's Breakfast Tea bag.

But during the cost-of-living crisis you can see by the range of online-shopping prices that some establishments put prices up inordinately "because they can" - because the public have become insensitive to price rises and just suck it up. This cost-of-living crisis has corrupted some of us.

Hit a man when he's down, Marylebone Theatre!

So no more visits to this theatre - and no more pro bono work for anyone from me. (I spent four hours plus petrol costs to avoid a parking fine, driving back and forth to this theatre to avoid Westminster's parking charges limited to four hours (they'll even try to charge you for the air you breathe would Westminster council.) - to facilitate my partner's pro bone 'largesse'. I will try and persuade her to cease too. She can't afford £5 for a cup of tea on her salary.

For the want of a nail...for shoes, horses & battles.

QED.

There is a postscript to all this. I returned to the counter and insisted on a paper cup filled with hot water - which was discharged into the Men's loos basin (the cup in the paper towel waste) because I am that petty, having been so traumatised. But not before tasting the hot water to see if it was the cup itself that contaminated this beverage. It Was. Without A Doubt.

Eric Arthur Blair would have been equally traumatised - more so - having to consider what's become of the British 'way if tea'.