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I found this site purely by accident, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. There are so many truths to Paul's approach, but if you aren't willing to hear and accept some hard truths about yourself and your marriage then this program might not be for you. If you're only interested in finding help through someone agreeing with you, don't waste their time. Their counselors are very responsive, highly skilled in the principles of the program and honest in their approach.
I've just started this program, but so far I've been told, "Don't read any other books about marriage, don't talk to a therapist about doing this program, don't tell anybody else you're doing this program." My husband is already controlling. I don't need a marriage counseling program that tries to control me as well. Response to Vicki - My husband and I both decided together to do this program. I did not ask for my subscription to be canceled. Was it canceled so that I wouldn't be able to show anybody proof of the fact that participants are ordered not to share any information about the program with others?
I found this site purely by accident, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. There are so many truths to Paul's approach, but if you aren't willing to hear and accept some hard truths about yourself and your marriage then this program might not be for you. If you're only interested in finding help through someone agreeing with you, don't waste their time. Their counselors are very responsive, highly skilled in the principles of the program and honest in their approach.
I've just started this program, but so far I've been told, "Don't read any other books about marriage, don't talk to a therapist about doing this program, don't tell anybody else you're doing this program." My husband is already controlling. I don't need a marriage counseling program that tries to control me as well.
Response to Vicki - My husband and I both decided together to do this program. I did not ask for my subscription to be canceled. Was it canceled so that I wouldn't be able to show anybody proof of the fact that participants are ordered not to share any information about the program with others?
The Marriage Foundation is not an ordinary counseling service; just about all of our clients come to us after watching a number of youtube videos featuring free advice from our founder, Mr. Paul Friedman, or were referred by a friend, family member, or clergy, and sometimes a therapist.
Janet, differently, was added to her husband's account by her husband (we strongly advise against that without the other fully wanting to have the course, too) and apparently she did not appreciate what she heard in the welcome video (the only class she watched) but especially did she appreciate the standard suggestions our counselor wrote to her in response to her intake form, that other forms of marriage "help" are a definite distraction from the work one must do when adhering to our courses.
Our processes are effective and our successes over the years proves that we are as solid a resource as can be found, especially for marriages that are on, or past, the brink.
We did not hear from Janet before his review or we would have simply refunded her husband's payment. In 20 years we have never had anything like this happen with a client, but we refunded his payment and wish them both only success and happiness.
It should be noted that clients sign up only for a 3 day trial and the payment we refunded was for the discounted add-on. We have never taken payment that wasn't made with gratitude for what our clients received, and some even choose to donate to our foundation because we deliver a marriage undreamed of, just as God intended for us,
I reached out to them and their response was repulsively misogynistic and rude. Their demeaning tone and lack of basic consideration is surprisingly awful. They showed zero respect and demonstrated that they believe women are the root of the problems and their reactions to abuse should be to take it and like it. Run away from this program as fast as you can!
Mrs. K is not a client of ours. She reached out for free advice about her current situation and disagreed with our assessment. We're sorry that she was offended when we failed to agree with her. Our principles are the same regardless of the gender of the person writing in. When one comes to us seeking help, we always discuss the changes that individual can make. No one, not us, not you, can change your spouse. You can only change you.
Unlike traditional marriage counselors, we refuse to join prospective clients in criticizing or condemning their spouse, which will only drive them further away. Our only mission is to heal marriages. Many prospective clients just want us to agree that their behavior was perfect and only their spouse behaved poorly, rather than seeking help. This is against our principles.
We don't believe any particular gender is the root of the problem. We believe poor behavior is the root of the problem. If a marriage is unhappy, it is because both members have contributed through anger, vindictiveness, criticism, condemnation, complaints, arguing, cold shoulders, dirty looks, on and on. Any behavior that is not expressing love to your partner has got to go or it will damage your marriage. It does not matter "who started it" or how your spouse behaves. Our position is that if your behavior is bad, regardless of if it is in response to your spouse's poor behavior, you are actively damaging your marriage. Everyone can learn to discriminate between destructive and loving behavior, without becoming a doormat. Neither gender gets a pass on these basic principles.
I really enjoyed the course. Paul does a good job of breaking down why men act the way do biologically and gives great examples on how to check yourself which will lead to loving your wife unconditionally. The men's course really is helping my marriage and I will continue to work hard to incorporate the sew method. I seen some bad review here on this site. If your not willing to accept your own role in how you've hurt your marriage and only want to blame your spouse then don't take this course. You won't get results. But if you want to save your marriage then there is nothing better for your marriage than the marriage foundation. I have a little boy with my wife and I want to show him how to treat a woman and live life full of love. Paul touches on one of the videos on this. I'm very grateful for everything I learned.
Tip for consumers:
I really belive this could help countless marriages
The Marriage Foundation will show you not only the path to unconditional love, but also the path to enlightenment. If happiness and pure love are your goals, look no further. It's so rare to find such gem of insights on what makes pure, unconditional love practical. You'll find those insights with The Marriage Foundation.
Thank you Susanne. While we aren't a religious organization and can't comment on the path to enlightenment, we're grateful that you've found a lot of value in our courses for your relationship and your life. We often hear from people how the principles and techniques we teach for eliminating bad habits, and controlling the mind and emotions helps people not just in their marriages but in all relationships and situations in life. From interacting with their boss, to other drivers on the road, to just being a peaceful, happier, more fulfilled person. It's amazing how much negativity the untrained mind focuses on and absorbs. We're glad to hear you are doing well.
I have read some of the negative reviews and feel compelled to add some clarity. Yes - this approach puts the need to change on the wife, it's because mostly wives sign up and if we are all honest we aren't going to change our husbands. Paul does go into great detail in the twelve weeks about how we can only control ourselves, there are a lot of times women are encouraged to seek safety - severe abuse etc. He is not blaming women for the marriage failure. - he is crediting women for the power to make marriage succeed and that by controlling our emotions, our thoughts and connecting with our hearts we can make our marriages what we would like them to be. I do hear women talking about their husbands at the hair or nail salon and even before taking this course - I would think, that man cannot be happy married to a woman who talks about him to perfect strangers that way - Paul is trying to help women reign in the chatter and look at their choices - are we as wives choosing to be positive and uplifting, or are we breaking our husband's spirits - many of the extreme marital examples he gave that husbands are doing - like porn, cheating, abuse, affairs etc. those are not our issues - I took the course as I have taken others - I like Jimmy Evans who has a marriage ministry and I read a lot, so when I saw the course video, I thought why not. I have at times been a tad annoyed with Paul. LOL but he is right when he says, rewatch the videos that are annoying because they are likely the ones that are pointing out what you need to change. I asked for my course to be delivered in one cluster - and TMF accommodated my request, I have listened to all the videos multiple times and I don't think any of us can go wrong with learning to control what we say. We treat strangers politely and kindly - we are lovely when we first start courtships - why not treat our husbands the best of the best? I never write reviews but felt that some of the comments were taken slightly out of context unless the whole course was completed and hope this will provide additional information. I asked my hubby did he want to sign up and he said sure - but chances are pretty high he may not actually do the course, he is so very busy, and that's okay. I am learning to be softer and kinder and sweeter to my hubby. We can get into habits that don't support great communication and not even realize it and that's what Paul is trying to get the spouse who signs up to do - be thoughtful in the output (you don't have to say everything that comes to your mind), make choices about what we say and do and recognize we only have the power to change ourselves, - NOT our spouses. If I was dealing with some of the examples given,I am not so sure I could control my thoughts as my hubby did some horrible things, I believe that would be very very difficult. But …. Ultimately it's our choice to change how we feel, behave, think and do.
Tip for consumers:
It’s a course to help you work on you - your part of the marital harmony or discord. It’s not a course to change your spouse. All of the course focuses on your responses in some way, shape or form.
My wife and I were seeing a marriage counselor in our home town with little to no success. My wife shared TMF podcast with me on "How to stop arguing with your spouse". I loved what Paul Friedman all had to say in the podcast (everything he said made perfect sense) so I signed up for the marriage course. My wife did too after I asked her if she would consider taking the course too. The course was and is the true fix to our marriage. The information provided within the courses is invaluable. I can't thank TMF enough for offering such an amazing approach to making a marriage work. Truly remarkable and I am forever grateful! Thank you ~ Thank you ~ Thank you! Paul M
Tip for consumers:
You can’t go wrong with their satisfaction guaranteed or your money back policy.
My marriage was in deep trouble, and I didn't know how I was going to save it! I wasn't even sure that I wanted to save it. I used to spend a lot of time blaming every thing wrong in our life together on my wife! Sure, in a marriage, it takes two to tango! But, the Marriage Foundation course and books gave me the tools I needed to turn things around. And it doesn't take both of you to do it! If one member of the couple learns the right methods of ‘getting along' in an intimate relationship, it can be saved! The course taught me that wanting unconditional love in a marriage doesn't mean that you demand it from your partner. It means that you give it. The course taught me that if you want to feel loved, you have to give it. In religious circles, they say that the instrument is blessed by what passes through it. And blame and negativity was passing through me almost constantly. Once I let go of this bad habit of looking for my wife's flaws and wanting to constantly wallow in what I perceived to be our "problems", things began to get better! In summary, this course saved my marriage!
Thank you James for an honest review from a real client. We often hear messages like this: "I wasn't even sure that I wanted to save it." The struggle in marriage when you don't know what to do is very tiring. But once you start making the right changes, as James discovered, you find that love manifests again very quickly. It didn't go away, it was just eclipsed by poor behavior on both parts. As our founder, Paul Friedman, likes to say, the sun is gigantic, but your tiny hand can easily block it from view. Similarly, any bad behavior on your part can eclipse all the love in your marriage. We're thrilled to hear your marriage is continuing to thrive.
I bought the book "Break the Cycle". Watched many of Paul's youtube videos and bought the course for women. I needed clarification for a few questions in regards to the course and some things that were not addressed by Paul in the course. The course is currently paused for a week so I am unable to see what is in store following on but looking at the module tiles, it doesn't look like it will cover. They say this is a complete marriage course. When I emailed the counselor on my questions and needing clarifications, I was replied with a very rude, demeaning condenscending and unhelpful email. He basically said I don't understand anything I learned but never tried to help clarify. Extremely shocked and appalled. Honestly, I cannot believe they would even hire and keep a counselor this rude for their paying clients.
Not everyone likes to hear that they have the power to make their own choices and we cannot rob them of their free will by offering another's take on her life's choices. We help individuals heal their marriages. Perhaps if she were living with her boyfriend the counselor's replies would have had more context and value. We wish her only the best and our heartfelt blessings.
I used this website's free "ask a counselor" option to get advice on saving my marriage. I gave only the main info needed to get sound advice for a marriage plagued by trust issues and the reply I received from their so-called counselor was appalling! I was told I was all at fault, that I aligned forces with our children causing them to see their father as a fool instead of respecting him, and that I needed to change and become a better person and real wife. These horrific accusations and labeling came without hearing the whole story of how I endured verbal and physical abuse, the children enduring verbal abuse and family abandonment which is the reason for their negative view of their father as well as me forgiving him for adultery that I actually caught with my own eyes as well as numerous accusations of fondling and sexual solicitation by women throughout the 30 yrs together. You can imagine the anger I felt as I read the reply email from a counselor I was seeking help from, a business who's motto is to help people save their marriages through counseling and counseling courses.
After that experience I will greatly ask anyone looking for sound help and advice for their marriage problems to not give their money and time to this business because you will not get the right help you're seeking.
Tip for consumers:
Provides free advice and pay for help courses ensuring to help mend marriages going through problems
Mrs. K admits she is not a client. There is no doubt that her husband did things that were very damaging to the marriage. She did reach out for free advice and didn't like it when didn't agree with her. She was not seeking recovery, which is our sole mission. She wrote in seeking our agreement with her judgment and condemnation of her husband. Sorry, we don't do that.
In cases of physical abuse, we always recommend clients seek safety for the victim and children, first. Then consider reconciliation when it is safe to do so. In cases of substance abuse, we recommend people seek professional help for this issue first before marriage issues can be effectively resolved.
However, drugs, alcohol, and extreme cases aside, in over 20 years working with countless couples, no troubled marriage became a problem all at once or as a result of only one person's bad behavior. Major symptoms like infidelity are the result of several months or years of bickering, fighting, and countless bad behaviors exhibited by both members, often even before the wedding. You can see Mrs. K's message only lists the things he did wrong, without listing a single mistake she made. Should we believe that her behavior was perfect?
We give the same response to anyone writing in, men or women, which is essentially: 'We won't help you condemn your spouse. If you want to improve your marriage, we can help you do that by helping you become a better person. That means learning how to not react negatively and emotionally to your spouse's bad behavior, even if they start a fight. You learn how to diffuse and end it. You learn how to control your mind, emotions, and mouth. You be the bigger person. You express only love, without being a doormat. Until now you've been pushing them away and aggravating them with your bad behavior, never mind if it was in response to their bad behavior. When you stop doing that and become a truly changed, truly loving person, who no longer reacts to their triggers being pushed, your spouse will inevitably notice, pause, and fall in love with you again."
We have seen this process work over, and over, and over again, meanwhile western-psychological based processes traditional marriage counselors use rarely work. We get a lot of clients from marriage counselors because this is the only thing that consistently works to heal marriages. However, it is not effective for those who just want to judge and condemn. We're sorry that we can't help you.
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Thank you Jamie for an honest review from an actual client. We're glad you've been able to get a lot of value out of our program. Yes, our approach is focused on what you can do to make your marriage great, rather than looking for excuses or trying to fix your spouse, which is impossible.